THE VIRTUE OF SELF-RESTRAINT
We live in an age that values expressing oneself without restraint. We consider this genuineness and honesty. Inability (or failure) to express oneself, is indicative, we say, of emotional troubles and inhibitions, or ‘hang-ups’ (to use a term from the Sixties).
But these are recent developments. For most of history, self-control – weighed words and restrained emotions/desires – was the cornerstone of virtue. Emotions were not to be freely indulged or discharged without restriction, but rationally assessed and disseminated in careful measure in beneficial directions toward profitable ends.
Solomon repeatedly strikes the chord that fools restrain neither emotions (Proverbs 12.16, 14.17,29) nor words (Proverbs 17.28, 18.2,13); a wise man does both. Socrates and Aristotle considered control of the impulses and restraint of the emotions/desires the foundation of virtue. Christianity identified self-control as the “fruit of the Spirit” (Galatians 5.23 cf. 2 Peter 1.6).
Perhaps we differ most from the ancient world in that today, we value the individual more than we do “society”. It is more important for us that the individual be free to express herself than it is for her to restrict herself for the sake of others. In the ancient world it was the other way around.
This reversal has also changed our understanding of virtue. It is difficult to speak of virtue of a man in isolation from others because virtue has to do with behavior as it affects others. Virtue makes societal interaction palatable.
Control of emotions burdens the self to use power to protect the comfort of others. One controls oneself, considering how an outpouring of feelings or words will affect those around him. This the ancient world saw as a great good.
Today we value the freedom of the individual to express himself and belittle the societal expectations or “appropriate behavior” as an infringement of one’s personal rights. We seem to have come to believe that societal expectations of individuals are a form of tyranny. Today, if my demonstration of emotion makes others uncomfortable, too bad for them. They’re just going to have to get over it! I’ve gotta be me! I have that right!
But is this the Spirit of Christ, who values others as more significant than self and seeks to behave in accordance with that evaluation (Philippians 2.3-4)?
Love, it would seem, looks not for the right to self-express, but to find that “sweet spot”, the right time and place and the right degree to which emotion can be appropriately expressed, with thought being given to others’ receptivity (or lack of it) to that emotional expression.
This is how many of us were trained to love others. And it ends up having an effect on our expression of emotion in worship.
This is just one piece of a larger and complicated puzzle. More next week…
But these are recent developments. For most of history, self-control – weighed words and restrained emotions/desires – was the cornerstone of virtue. Emotions were not to be freely indulged or discharged without restriction, but rationally assessed and disseminated in careful measure in beneficial directions toward profitable ends.
Solomon repeatedly strikes the chord that fools restrain neither emotions (Proverbs 12.16, 14.17,29) nor words (Proverbs 17.28, 18.2,13); a wise man does both. Socrates and Aristotle considered control of the impulses and restraint of the emotions/desires the foundation of virtue. Christianity identified self-control as the “fruit of the Spirit” (Galatians 5.23 cf. 2 Peter 1.6).
Perhaps we differ most from the ancient world in that today, we value the individual more than we do “society”. It is more important for us that the individual be free to express herself than it is for her to restrict herself for the sake of others. In the ancient world it was the other way around.
This reversal has also changed our understanding of virtue. It is difficult to speak of virtue of a man in isolation from others because virtue has to do with behavior as it affects others. Virtue makes societal interaction palatable.
Control of emotions burdens the self to use power to protect the comfort of others. One controls oneself, considering how an outpouring of feelings or words will affect those around him. This the ancient world saw as a great good.
Today we value the freedom of the individual to express himself and belittle the societal expectations or “appropriate behavior” as an infringement of one’s personal rights. We seem to have come to believe that societal expectations of individuals are a form of tyranny. Today, if my demonstration of emotion makes others uncomfortable, too bad for them. They’re just going to have to get over it! I’ve gotta be me! I have that right!
But is this the Spirit of Christ, who values others as more significant than self and seeks to behave in accordance with that evaluation (Philippians 2.3-4)?
Love, it would seem, looks not for the right to self-express, but to find that “sweet spot”, the right time and place and the right degree to which emotion can be appropriately expressed, with thought being given to others’ receptivity (or lack of it) to that emotional expression.
This is how many of us were trained to love others. And it ends up having an effect on our expression of emotion in worship.
This is just one piece of a larger and complicated puzzle. More next week…